Did you know that every individual person is actually three people? First, there's the person you think you are. Second, there's the person you want others to think you are. Third, there's the REAL you. This blog address number 3 - the real you.
In that spirit of realness, lets think about something that 90% of us have to one level or another. It's called 'melancholy'. Is it a weakness or a strength? Some say it's a weakness - a hinderance that stunts effectiveness and slows progress. The latter view can be right….if we don't know how to handle it. The danger of feeling melancholic is that it can lead to a downward spiral of insularity and intraspectivness which can ultimately knock a persons confidence (and those around them).This is especially the case when you derive your value merely from your performance. The problem with this is that you can't perform all the time - something which many try to do! But thats physically, emotionally and mentally impossible. And even when performing at full speed, there will inevitably be bad days. So when those days come, what are you going to do? Where do you find solace? What is going to lift your confidence and make you feel valuable again? For a leader, that search can sometimes lead to dangerous places. It's never wise to build your whole foundation merely on how well you feel you're performing.
But can there be strengths to having touches of melancholy? Well, I find there can be. And the secret is in knowing how to handle them. I've found that my greatest creativity has emerged from moments of melancholy. There is incredible power in taking time to be still. Perhaps melancholy (for me) is the tension between inaction and action - the coming to terms with where I've been and the getting to grips with where I'm going. When you're full of idea's and vision, it is incredibly challenging to be still. Those melancholic moments can be painful. But when you learn how to make the most of them, what can actually emerge is a touch of genius. For me, it's a time to reflect, pray and allow my creative juices to be replenished. No, that doesn't mean they're pleasant. But then, life is not always pleasant! It's like revising for an exam - hardly the most wonderful experience - but absolutely vital.
Instead of allowing melancholy to work against me, I've learnt to make it work for me. Either those moments can drive us to a place to negativity and despair - or we can use them to help us become better, more rooted people. It is worth pointing out however that the latter will never happen if we cut ourselves off from other people. If anything, that's the time you need to be around the right people more than ever.
I'm always inspired by the life and music of George F Handel, a composer who was broken, bankrupt and deeply melancholic. But in his moments of melancholy, he allowed his music to develop, exploring new avenues and sounds. Then his opportunity came - and his creativity poured like a waterfall. He composed his famous 'Messiah' score in a mere 21 days! But the REAL truth is that his ingenious music was birthed in his moments of melancholy. He made them work for him.
So is it wrong to feel melancholic? Not necessarily. Melancholy only becomes a problem when you pander to it and let it overcome you. But learn to use those melancholic moments to your advantage, and you'll discover creativity and beauty like you've never known before. Hold your nerve and dare to be still for a while.


